The Greatest Trick the Devil Ever Pulled….
by The Writer
Tea With the Devil Himself
A while back I wrote some sinful letters, in an attempt to explore my ego and it’s reason for seemingly getting me into trouble. I soon realized that although it got me into trouble, it also helped get out of trouble, and avoid it too. I totally misunderstood its use. And so of course my mind conjures up more questions. Bizarre questions. For example, God loves the Devil. Obviously. But is that love reciprocated?
Quick back story on the Devil… He was created by God himself, served as God’s right hand man, was considered the elite among angels. Later he decided he didn’t like the order of things (placing man/angels on an even level), and was cast out of heaven for his oppositional behaviour.
We’ve all had those friendships where a falling out occurs and someone extends their forgiveness and things are good again. I’m willing to bet God took the moral high ground and forgave the Devil because it seems like the ‘right thing to do’. So I figure I’d play mediator and see if I could get this biblical friendship back on track, after all they used to be BFF’s! I sent out spiritual invitations to invite both parties… The Devil RSVP’d immediately and appeared before I started boiling the water. I had to hand it to him; he’s prompt. However, God doesn’t always come when you call, but I heard he’s always right on time, so we waited. I figured I’d get to know the Devil while waiting for the grace of God. Here’s what happened:
Me: You’re a lot taller than I thought.
The Devil: I’ve got my father’s height.
The Devil: Yes it is.
Me: Yes what is?
The Devil: You were going to ask if it’s really hot in hell. Everyone asks.
Me: They do?
The Devil: Yeah, but it’s only hot, figuratively speaking. Fire tends to purify things.
Me: Oh… Interesting. Actually I was going to ask–
The Devil: (rolls his eyes) I’m not really here to reveal the secrets of the universe to you. Just looking to get on with this meeting.
Me: (nervous laughter) God’s probably held up in traffic. Guess there’s a lot of people up there? That’s a relief, huh?
CRASH! The cup I’m holding mysteriously shatters.
The Devil: (sipping his tea) Careful there.
Me: Your place is just as nice.
The Devil: (smiling) Just like in heaven, it’s as nice as you want it to be– Wait. You’ve been there before?
Me: A couple of times.
The Devil: (holding me in a shadowy glare) Oh really?
Me: (more nervous laughter) With all those people there suffering you were probably too busy to notice me. No rest for the wicked, right?
As he leans in close to look at me, I feel the hairs on my neck spring up.
The Devil: I’ve got a lot more time on my hands than you think …Hmm… I do recognize you… (He literally looks into my soul; I feel used). You’re that hack writer who wines about his life.
Me: Uh. Yeah?
The Devil: Did you enjoy your stay?
Me: No, but I did learn a lot.
The Devil: You know you’ll be back…
Me: Didn’t know you had psychic ability.
The Devil: Actually God kept that neat little trick to himself.
Me: Makes sense. Guess you’d be playing for team Jesus if you could see the future.
The Devil: Hmm… Humour deflects many things, but not your ignorance.
Awkward silence. The Devil takes another long sip of his tea.
The Devil: So what were you going to ask me?
Me: Uh… Well, I’m sure God must have told you why he created all of us…
The Devil: (Grinning) The mysteries of the universe cannot be explained, to someone of your level…
Me: Oh… Well… are you at a level where you can dumb it down for me.
The Devil Laughs. For a long time. I feel uncomfortable, even a little annoyed.
The Devil: Ok…
Finally the Devil glances over towards the wall mirror, motioning for me to see. I’m awestruck, unable to move. I rub my eyes approaching the mirror for a closer look, because surely what I’m seeing can’t be true. It’s his reflection; I see him, in me.
Time blurs. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours that passed, but finally God arrived, and I snap out of my daze. I was going to bring him up to speed, but you know… Godspeed is much faster.