The 12: Integrity

by The Writer

Step 5: Integrity

Writer’s Rehab

A life lived with integrity – even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune is a shinning star in whose light others may follow in the years to come. –Denis Waitley

As one of the most difficult steps to face, Step 5 is also the one that provides the greatest opportunity for growth.  However, the exact nature of my wrongs are difficult to articulate.  As a writer, I feel writing itself isn’t wrong, but having it permeate my thoughts sometimes feels wrong.  Thinking about writing instead of thinking of family and friends feels like I let them down; it pulls me from being present with them.  Being consumed with thoughts of writing doesn’t allow me to give 100% of myself to another.  Solely focusing on a single endeavour and letting all other things of equal importance fall by the wayside is irresponsible of me.  Although I thoroughly enjoy my alone time, isolation isn’t fun.  Allowing a bad writing experience to cloud my judgement and ruin my day weakens me and my spirit.  And although the process can’t always be enjoyable, my emotional response to a bad experience must be mastered.  Writing is integral to my overall wealth and health; but can no longer be the primary focus of my well-being.

Writing serves me, but when it doesn’t or when it can’t serve others it becomes a destructive force, which I’m guilty of.  Using my words to express anything by my truth, makes the pen much deadlier than the sword.  Believing I knew more about the craft of screenwriting than others was a belief that nearly killed my creativity.  As a result of this unfounded belief, I was in my head a lot writing and living from a place of logic.  I got lazy and didn’t really rely on faith– Real intuitive faith.  Hope is like calculated faith using logic that I based a lot of my work, and life on.  The only way I’ll continue to grow as a writer and an individual is shifting this belief– I’ll always be a student of writing and the creative process.  No matter how my work is received, I must stay humble and be willing to re-learn the creative process again and again.  I’ll never know everything about writing, and I need to accept this.  The work I’ve done earlier to this was mostly written from my ego, not my spirit, and while it was good on a technical level, it wasn’t connecting with anyone’s spirit, simply judged by the ego and dismissed.