Smoke and Mirrors

by The Writer

The Lucid Dream

Nowadays I don’t usually remember my dreams, but in my younger days, I remember having lots of them.  It seemed that once I learned to control my dreams, I stopped remembering them.  Knowing I was dreaming sometimes ruined the fun of having them.  For a time I believed there were many weeks I didn’t dream at all.  I felt left out.  Sometimes I’d try to fall asleep with an issue on my mind just so I could dream about it and discover how I really felt.  It didn’t work for me.  There’s a few dreams I can remember because they were either scary, erotic or made absolutely no sense at all.  The ones that made no sense were fun because I’d attempt to make sense of them, the erotic ones were fun because they were erotic.  I still enjoy listening to people’s nonsensical dreams and attempting to interpret them. It’s like solving a puzzle.  I believe that my dreams are always trying to tell me something, and if I figured out what that was, I’d ‘be in the know’, or have some insight into what ‘life was trying to teach me’, and life itself would be better.

There’s one reoccurring dream I continue to experience.  I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had this dream.  And like all dreams, I never quite know how it begins, and I’m never really sure when it ends; I just know it repeats itself.  Sometimes the details are slightly different, but the core elements are always the same.  At first I didn’t pay much attention to the dream because it wasn’t scary, strange or even erotic.  Although I didn’t fully understand it, I still made it through the experience without too much trouble.  Without going into too much detail about this particular lucid dream, the core elements that are always the same are, I’m in service to others in different capacities within various environments that seem completely opposite of who I am– Of course, I don’t see myself, but I know it’s me, and I know the space I’m in doesn’t quite fit.  I’m angry about the whole arrangement, but there isn’t much I can do, so I usually ‘keep calm and carry on’.  The people I’m in service to are always different– I feel they’re good people, or perhaps it’s just the feeling I’m projecting. However, I’m struggling to create some type of value for the people I’m serving, or helping them discover their own values, and worth.  Inside I hoping the people I’m serving will become aware of the dangerous environment and dangerous things they’re doing.  Interestingly I still feel safe, and perhaps I project that onto the people too, because most don’t see the things I wish to warn them about.

There isn’t much to the dream.  I don’t fly, or have any special powers, but it seems very real.  And although I can assume control in the dream, I never seem to intentionally alter anything even though I want to.  Perhaps that’s the strangest part of the whole experience.  I believed there was nothing that needed interpretation; things were usually understandable, and even predictable.  However, unbeknownst to me, there was a lesson in this ‘nothing special’ dream.  It was in fact, the most special dream I ever had, and I didn’t even realize it until I woke up.