The 12: Forgiveness
by The Writer
Step 9: Forgiveness
Making amends may seem like a bitter pill to swallow, but for those serious about recovery it can be great medicine for the soul.
I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not the best writer, but instead a great writer, and I have forgiven myself for most of my writing mishaps, which proved to be paying my dues through learning experiences. I’ve acknowledge and forgiven myself for mistakes I’ve made and will continue to make along my journey– I can’t expect to live life without making mistakes. Incidentally, embracing my imperfection allows me to be perfect. Along the way I’ve confronted the many stories I created not just in my outer world, but also the stories of my inner world. Although some of the inner stories I believed were untrue, they were stories I made up for my protection. I’ve forgiven myself for doing that, and created new truths for myself.
Taking time to reflect on my career choices, I made amends for making writing into something it isn’t, and for dragging my spirit through ‘hell’. I’ve also made amends for not believing in myself because others didn’t. For a long time I merely acted as though I was good enough, but inside I believed differently– I believed I wasn’t good enough, and I didn’t take time to acknowledge my talent. I’ve been forgiven for not expressing myself truthfully through my words, and comparing myself to other writers. I’ve also forgiven myself for allowing my ego to run wild, and especially for losing faith. The biggest thing I had to forgive myself for was my ingratitude; for focusing on what I didn’t have, instead of what had already been given to me.