The Illogical Choice
The good new is, those who submitted definitions for the contest will receive a prize! The bad news is, regrettably I didn’t receive a large amount of definitions for the second part of the contest. Aside from my lacklustre marketing attempt with the giveaway (sorry), the definitions of ‘love’ remained scarce. It was brought to my attention that what I was asking from contestants was very difficult…impossible even! Simply because it was ‘that time of year again’, I assumed most would be in the frame of mind to share the meaning of love. Perhaps it was my tendency to over simplify things that brought about the idea. Perhaps it was my lack of understanding. In any case, for some, love remains an illusive concept– Though it’s not the only sign, the increasing divorce rate can speak to that.
In some parts of the world, love (hopefully) comes sometime after marriage. ‘Other factors’ (duty, honour, culture) are considered more important than love itself when choosing a parter for life. And in some cases the people brought together through circumstance decide they love one another after years of enduring hardships. They always choose each other. The choice to be together is made by couples worldwide on a daily basis, and it is truly inspirational.
Assume for a moment that love is a choice. While most choices are made using logic, perhaps love is made using some illogical process. Science has taken a crack at understanding love, and has defined it as a measure of chemical reactions and attachment stages. Interestingly, within a relationship it’s bad form to measure the amount of love between a couple. The result is usually a ‘who loves who more’. It’s not about keeping score, because true love is immeasurable. However, if love is a choice, why do so many people choose poorly? The lack of a clear personal definition may have something to do with it, but I digress… Now assume that ‘love at first sight’ is real– Choice has been removed from the matter. What’s left? Chaos? If people fell in love purely based on sight, we would have a huge increase in shotgun weddings and marriages, which would last as long as someone’s looks did (not that it’s happening now).
Indeed, love, falling in love and love at first sight are all different, but only to a degree. If love is a series of conscious choices, then perhaps love at first sight is a series of subconscious choices. This would leave the business of falling in love as the awareness of those subconscious choices, which then leads to the decision to love, or leave.
Countless lives have been spent trying to find and understand love– I’m no different. And if it is indeed the reason we are all here, it makes attempting to ‘get it’ complete sense. Like most, I want to understand it, but it’s one of those things you have to practice to understand. Like anything else worth becoming good at, practice makes perfect. With practice comes that understanding– and that illogical choice begins to seem logical.
Love at first sight is choosing to love yourself first.