Tag: My Life

My Nemesis

Every Great Story Needs A Villain

In trying to understand the characters I’m writing about. I took the Myers-Briggs Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test.  It’s a methodology, personality questionnaire. This assessment is designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions. This is the essence of understanding characters. Or so I would imagine. I needed a baseline to find how accurate the test would be for determining my personality. My results were successfully intriguing. And as most personality test results go, it highlighted key aspects of my cerebral character.

Now understand that some writers deal with voices inside their heads (most are only character voices trying to tell their stories, others not so much).  The only way to silence those voices is to record the story. For example, there is a story about a Navajo grandfather who once told is grandson, “Two wolves live inside of me. One is the bad wold, full of greed and laziness, full of anger and jealousy and regret. The other is the good wolf, full of joy and compassion and willingness and a great love for the world. All the time, these wolves are fighting inside of me.” “But grandfather,” the boy said. “Which wolf will win?” The grandfather answered, “The one I feed.”  Naturally most people would fight and feed the good wolf. But I would approach the situation a little differently; as characters (of my psyche) these wolves would speak to me. Should I live the life of the big bad wolf, or simply tell its story as the good wolf? How would I tell that story? What if these wolves weren’t really fighting? What if by comparison they gave each other purpose?

This brings me to my Nemesis, the character in my story I didn’t understand. I’d already created the protagonist, his story, arc and goal. I took the Humanmetrics test, answering as my hero would with ease because in my mind, I’m the hero. I knew him better than he knew himself because I had fed him regularly and his voice was more prominent. The results confirmed the kind of person I envisioned him to be, and that Humanmetrics was worth its weight in gold! I grew more excited to get to know his nemesis. I took the test, and was shocked to learn that his results were much more aligned with my own. What if I’m not the hero in my stories, but instead the bad guy?

What’s more troubling is the amount of people who regularly suggest that as a manager I need to be more of an asshole, or manipulative to my direct reports to avoid being taken advantage of and get things accomplished. It’s expected, even desperately wanted by some, which I feel is very telling.  However, I believe the want is more of a reflection on the psychological expectations of others: Treat me badly and I’ll behave. Some say I need to take it further and be more nefarious in my personal life to meet my goals. Perhaps. In any event, the Big Bad Wolf is always hungry, and people demand I dress him in sheep’s clothes and feed him to join the pack.


What Colour is the Ocean?

“Strong intention in a noisy mind is useless; it’s akin to throwing a big rock into a turbulent ocean. There is no perceptible effect.”–Deepak Chopra

A simple questions doesn’t always receive a simple answer. Many people willingly accept a concise answer and go about their day. That’s fine. Sometimes there isn’t reason to care. Sometimes there isn’t time to know the entire explanation. Sometimes there isn’t any room for ambiguity.  The answer, the story, and the truth must be clear, concise and unchanging because that’s what’s expected. Yet, the fact remains it isn’t. Regrettably,  this fact makes most people uncomfortable. Without clear concise truths about the world we inhabit, ambiguity could mean the unknown, and the unknown is a scary place to be.

As children, most of us can recall times of great wonder and imagination.  Building sand castles on the beach, constructing forts with sheets and furniture, or playing out dramas with dolls, teddy bears, action figures or lego.  As we become adults, however, we give up that imagination in favour of the so-called rules and codes of responsibility (because we’re told me must put away ‘childish’ things).  Our brains, being a muscle, atrophy and lost the capacity to expand, adapt, transform and evolve: Adults marvel and study how a child grows and develops–but ironically ‘successful’ development is evolving into an adult world of repetition, boredom, and stagnation. Without imagination we settle for predictability at the cost of dulling the human experience because its safer, dependable, and more reliable according to Deepak Chopra.

For those struggling with an answer about the ocean:  The blue hue of water is an intrinsic property caused by selective absorption and scattering of white light. Impurities dissolved or suspended in water may give water different coloured appearances. Some may not care about the explanation, and some will accept the aforementioned wikipedia definition.  However, those who can accept and feel comfortable in the ambiguous truth will have a better time swimming in it.

“Great” Friday

Easter Card


If happiness is a choice, would knowing the truth to life’s mysteries make people happier?  What if ‘the truth’ really is uglier than people imagine?  Approaching the one year anniversary of my blog, I wanted to reflect on my truth.  I’ve shared a lot, but learned even more. I’ve shared in the lives of others, and joined journeyed to places while remaining within the comfort of my home.  I’ve shared experiences that have redefined who I am and what I believe.  It’s been a life-changing year, but acknowledging and accepting my truth didn’t guarantee any sort of happiness.  Sometimes a lie was just as effective for me until it became truth.  I admit it.  I faked it until I made it.

Jesus knew the truth about his life, perhaps even his own death, but it wasn’t what made him happy.  Some believe, some don’t.  Regardless of belief the story is the story, and life lessons can be gained from the example.  Jesus died for our sins, not to rid the world of sin, but to show the power of forgiveness.  Mystified by the story as a child, I wondered why JC didn’t take all the world’s sin with him to the tomb– It would have solved a lot of problems if he did.  Clearly a larger dynamic system was in place, and ridding the world of sin wasn’t the best option.  There are many ways to interpret the story of JC.  I’m confident most of the interpretations of the stories hold some validity.  Some are irrelevant and most add to the seemingly endless controversy.  Being a man with an opened mind, small ego and huge spirit, JC  proposed a shift in conscious perspective to create change.  However, most people in that era didn’t want to change, or refused to accept another man’s truth.

Despite the lack of faith among his circle of followers, JC continued not in his pursuit of truth, but his pursuit of change.  Knowing the end didn’t sway him from a purpose of his choosing.  By changing the hearts of others, he began to change their minds.  Interestingly most attempt to change the mind with little regard to the heart.  I’m also guilty of attempting to change hearts through my blog.  However, I’ve realized changing the heart presents a greater challenge because of the need to be right.  Perhaps this challenge is the reason JC’s message remains a controversy on the mind instead of peace within the heart.

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